Dallas Sports Masochist

To: Luka Dončić
First off… I am so sorry. A lot has stuff has come out since you were traded for pennies on the dollar last Saturday night. The spineless rat known as “Nico Harrison” is trying his best to take the “well I didn’t even want that anyway” approach the past couple of days due to him realizing that he fumbled a top 3 talent of the next decade. Reportedly blaming it on having a Mamba mentality. Disgraceful. Obviously you are aware of what has been said about you since this past weekend, but just in case you forgot, I compiled a list:
- They called you fat.
- Lied about you not wanting the supermax.
- Said you didn’t fit in with the current “culture”.
- Stated that trading you “avoided a tumultuous summer”.
- They let go everyone you liked.
- Tried to save face by leaking stories of Nico “being forced to trade you”.
- Rumors of Nico not planning on being here in 10 years.
As you, Luka, already know… all of these things are bullshit. Us Mavs fans already knew this, but it is important to bring up and summarize how these cowards are attempting to spin this into some sort of positive to decrease the chances of all of the MFFLs assembling a guillotine in Victory Plaza this Saturday (I recommend the stage they set up in front of Hero). This doesn’t even mention all of the conspiracy theories that have come about. It is a sad. This is a complete 180 from how that fuckin nerd was acting 24 hours after the trade. Nico – I thought it was about defensive minded? I thought was afraid Luka wouldn’t sign the supermax? I thought you didn’t think he fit the current “culture”? Now you thought he wouldn’t take the supermax? Are you kidding? Did you even talk to the guy for 10 minutes? Obviously not, considering you decided to get rid of every single person that Luka liked having around. Casey Smith – Director of Player Health and Performance that he liked? Fired 2023. Strength Coach Jeremy Holsopple? Fired 2024. Manual Therapist Casey Spangler? Fired 2024. Jalen Brunson? Let him walk. Boban? Traded. Dorian Finney-Smith? Traded 2023. It got to the point where you had to hire his own training team because of this weasel.

“They get rid of everyone I like” – Luka Dončić

Without even mentioning the fact that Nico is first press conference stated that he might bury himself in 10 years (please go ahead and do it now), now you got known bitchass Collin Cowherd spreading rumors that you were “forced” to make the trade? The guy couldn’t even get through his own show discussing it due to the overflow of bullshit that was rising from his stomach with every word he spoke. Lets just say this is true for the sake of the argument… you let a brand new owner, who doesn’t give a shit about basketball, come up with the idea of trading a generational player and the most loved athlete in the DFW (sorry Jamie Benn & Corey Seager) and you didn’t immediately show any indication while the entire metroplex fries you? Dude people here want you dead. You expect us to believe that it wasn’t in your control? You and your “mamba mentality” just listened to Patrick Dumont tell you that a 1st rounder 4 years from now was enough (besides AD & Max Christie *sigh*) for a top 3 player in the world? Which is it dude? Were your forced or was it one of your genius moves to become more defensive minded? I don’t know what’s worse – you thinking you’re smarter than everyone in the room (you’re not) or claiming that you got bullied by a fat casino owner who clearly doesn’t care about the actual sport? The latter isn’t even that crazy of a thought considering the way Rob Pelinka bullied you so hard that I’m surprised we aren’t hearing you screaming “Please let me out!” from some highschool locker somewhere. I think the answer is obvious – it was your decision and you realized you fucked up. Nico – throw on another quarter zip and please walk into traffic on 75.

Luka – we are distraught for us and for you. We also have empathy for AD and Max Christie. These guys don’t deserve to have to represent what we gave up. It isn’t fair to them. No matter how much we want them to succeed here, we cannot get over the sacrifice that was made to get them here. It should have never had happened. It is not their fault that even if they win a championship this year, or next year, it would feel empty for us as the fans. This is where guys like “Nico Harrison” don’t get it. They never will. Guys like that will never understand the players relationship with the fans. Sad day.

Day 4 of hoping for a “Nico Harrison” downfall. There is less than a 0% chance of you returning – but I hope you, Luka, see how the fans are reacting to your departure. I have never seen it in professional sports before – and you deserve every bit of it. You are the man and I hope you average a triple double (and the Lakers lose every game). We will love you forever and do everything in our power as fans to let the front office know that you are wanted as long as you are in the league.

PS – Fuck “Nico Harrison”.

– Scoob
February 5, 2025

ad, anthony-davis, basketball, brunson, Dallas, dallas-mavericks, Doncic, dsm, Harrison, Luka, luka-doncic, mamba, masochist, mavs, nba, Nico, pelinka, rob, sports
To: Nico Harrison

AKA The Worst

I just want to begin by saying that no one will read this due to this being my first blog and first attempt (outside of Twitter) at articulating my feelings towards sports on the internet. There is no reason for anyone to read this and I know almost no one ever will. This is specifically for the distraught Dallas Mavericks fan and overall disgruntled Dallas sports psychopath to read and let them know that they are not alone.

I have always wanted to write about sports but never had the balls to actually publish anything because as proud as I am of being a die hard Dallas sports fan, and a fan of sports in general, I have always had the voice in the back of my head saying “Dude no one really gives a shit about what you have to say – who cares?”. I have always listened to this voice… but today… today is different. I feel like I have to do this for my own mental sanity. I’ve never had an event in my 30 years of sports fandom that made me feel like I HAD to get my thoughts on paper in a therapeutic sense so I don’t go nuts on the people around me. The internet’s endless void will be my new therapist going forward. That being said, I have somethings to say about the Luka Doncic trade and that spineless fuck known to the world as “Nico Harrison”…

Since the 1990’s, the Dallas Mavericks always had big names come through town and make a splash. Hell, even before that, we had our Rolando Blackmans, Derek Harpers, and Mark Aguirres. But in 1998 when Dirk Nowitzki was drafted and paired with Steve Nash and Michael Finley… then…. then the long climb up the mountain started taking its first steps upwards. This is when everyone my age began to truly love this team and its players. It was only amplified when Mark Cuban purchased the team in 2000 and showed the rest of the league what it was like to have any owner who truly loved the sport – acting like a fucking 12 year old courtside celebrating with the team in a child’s medium t-shirt with his stomach hanging out. Although Steve and Michael both eventually were gone, Dirk was ALWAYS our guy. We developed a culture that was special compared to any other situation in North American professional sports. No matter what, this was OUR GUY and we would never let him go. Not in 2006 after the brutal finals loss. Not even after finally reaching the peak and winning it all in 2011 (although getting rid of the rest of the championship team after that was… DUMB). We, as a city, had a mutual unspoken agreement with the team and organization that no matter what happens, Dirk would always have a home here and we would never do anything to change that. In the twilight years of Dirk’s career we, as fans, knew that this was probably a once in a lifetime time player to represent our franchise and we appreciated every moment of it for 20 years. We thought the ride was over and didn’t know what would come next.. and then…

In 2018 the Mavericks were miraculously blessed with a young Slovenian kid in the draft. We had high hopes but never had any idea the impact this young man would have on this city. 3 games in and you knew this kid was special. A year in and you KNEW he was great. Cut to 2024 and this city worshipped the ground this guy walked on almost in the exact same fashion that they worshipped Dirk’s. The fanbase itself felt like we helped raise this guy… this kid that could barely buy some Zyns when he got here. He embraced the city. We embraced him. He was the newfound messiah of this basketball team that was meant to continue in the footsteps that the Dirty German took himself. He was OUR GUY. He was UNTOUCHABLE. He dragged us to the Western Conference Finals and then 2 years later dragged us to the NBA FINALS on ONE KNEE last year. This year hasn’t been going that great due to injuries but it didn’t matter to us fans as long as we knew we had Luka. You have Luka – you always have a shot. Then everything changed at 11:00pm central time on Feb. 1, when our lord and savior, Luka Doncic, was traded to the Lakers for an aging big man known to the world as “Street Clothes”. And here is were I address the terrorist known as Nico Harrison:

How could you do this? What made you think, after only being here for 3 years, that you knew better than the entire city of Dallas? I wish I was blessed to have this kind of blind arrogance to think that I have to hide something from EVERYONE WHO IS INVOLVED because they might try to derail my plans and I STILL think its a good idea??? Hey dickhead, if everyone you DID tell about it laughed in your face – IT MIGHT BE A DUMB THING TO DO. It’s been 3 days and my brain still cannot comprehend it. You have betrayed an entire city, the players on the team, everyone who developed this teams culture for 25 years, and you ESPECIALLY betrayed Luka Doncic. This man had just started his family, bought a new house here, and LOVED this city. We all HOPED he would never want to leave, and thanks to you, that was confirmed by he himself. If you’re going to screw over a team and an amazing player, at LEAST get something in return. You didn’t shop. You let Rob Pelinka grab you by the balls and you simply responded with “Thank you sir, may I have another?”. How DARE you single handedly destroy a franchise. And to think we at one point applauded you as GM? Pathetic. You made this man move across the country, made him reportedly cry, and cost him millions of dollars. For what? For hopefully the next 3 years? Seriously – your plan was to acquire 3 guys over the age of 30 and get rid of the 25 year old who is a top 5 basketball player IN THE FUCKING WORLD? Even if this works out and the Mavs win a championship in the next 3 years, it won’t mean NEARLY as much to the fans. You have gutted the fanbase and the franchise as a whole. No star will trust coming here ever again. You have hit the reset button on 30 years of Maverick culture. It’s disgraceful and disgusting. You are a small brained individual who has the courage of a 10 year old boy and the ego of Dwight Goodman. You are not a genius. You have no knowledge of what sports exist for in the first place. You are a potato head shaped shit who will never understand the relationship fans have with a sports team. You are everything wrong with professional sports and I hope you never have another day of rest. May you be haunted by this decision for the rest of your life. I know you said you might be “buried” in 3 years, but I hope it is 3 weeks. You might actually be the Osama Bin Laden of Dallas sports, and we’ve been dealing with decrepit Jerry Jones for almost 40 years.

Now there are a lot of details I didn’t mention in this but I had to stop myself from channeling my inner Stephen King. Side note – I know sports are entertainment and its not the end of the world when my favorite player gets traded. But this shit DOES affect people and it makes me sick that 2 guys can gut this many people without any consequences. Any whoooose’ll……. rant over. I will not be over this for quite some time but I’m somewhat grateful that it made me want to write again. Who knows… I might do this every day.

– Scoob

February 4, 2025

Cuban, Dallas, dirk, Doncic, Harrison, Luka, Mavericks, Nico, nowitzki, peanut, sports

To: Luka Dončić

To: Nico Harrison